Well, guess what suckers, the party is over. The opium den is shut down. The only pod that you will find tonight will be stuck to the bait end of a rat zapper. If that doesn't get you, then maybe withdrawal symptoms will slow you down enough to make you an easy target for the laziest of predators. I can just see it now, one of you laying in the garden path bleary eyed, shaking and shivering, looking for one more fix... Take one last look, these are the last of the poppy pods and they are MINE.
I don't care if they are ripe or not, they are mine, not yours.
Is there no limit to your destructive habits. Not only do you gnaw on my poppy pods, leaving a mess in the garden like a bunch of drunken frat boys.
Why a bag of raw dried out chicken poop? Were you high on something?
The strawberry is certainly tastier and you didn't even finish it.
Lemon leaves, aromatherapy for the nest, or what? At least you haven't developed a taste for the lemons, yet...
Fern fronds must make a comfy bed for the babies, you certainly can't be eating them.
Chile peppers leaves and stems, hmmmph.
And just because it's Chili Red doesn't mean that a Mini Clubman is something to chew on. And would you mind not leaving your garbage behind
Look, all of you dirty little, big, medium, whatever sized rats, look in here. Come on in, there's some nice snacks in here, step just here...
zzzzzt
Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh....
Your making me wonder if that's not what's eating my peppers? Maybe we both need a cat!
ReplyDeleteWow! A dead rat is a good rat, and those zappers seem to be the way to go.
ReplyDeleteThose little junkies. How frustrating! This post did make me laugh out loud, though. Did you tell Hank and Stella to pick up their game?
Great post.
I can just see your rats now. They will come right up to you and beg for one more pod. I bet they would even promise to leave the rest of your garden alone.
ReplyDeleteMichelle,
ReplyDeleteWe are fighting deer, the temporary fence was knocked down the other night, not much damage.
I think it is time you might start looking for a Rat Terrier, I have seen these dogs at work on a farm. A section of 1 1/4 inch pipe was of keen interest to this female Rat Terrier, the owner picked up the pipe and shook out the mouse, it got 2-3 feet before it was caught and dispatched.
Your post has me laughing so hard! Congrats on the zapped rodent. Hope you get more!
ReplyDeleteMichelle, I am speechless. LOL! I'm so glad I'm not the only one venting into the abyss we call the internet. I would never have guessed that rats would be an issue where you are. I generally associate them with the city. And having worked at several city restaurants, I've seen my fair share.
ReplyDeleteI had several vegetarians/vegans leaves awful comments when I posted about drowning a field mice. I wonder if they would as upset over electrocuted rats.
You're so funny, I have to laugh, but it's no laughing matter. Glad the zapper works.
ReplyDeleteI use black stinger light to get those moths and beetles at night.
LOL, made me laugh for real! Totally appreciate your frustration, expecially over the half-eaten strawberries, little sods!
ReplyDeleteGingerbread7, it could be rats, especially if the damage is happening at night. My one good rat catching cat would probably be of more help if I let him out at night when the vermin is most active.
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Christina, the dead ones are the best ones. The zappers do work well but I also us snap traps - 2 zaps and 2 snaps last night but none of them were the pod thieves.
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Daphne, I doubt that they would keep that promise for long...
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Randy, I don't think that the cats would approve of a rat terrier - I wonder if I could borrow one for a while though :) The deer are just giant rats with hooves, fortunately they are easier to exclude from my garden.
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Nartaya - four last night, and many more still to go I'm sure.
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Thomas, We have both city rats (roof rats) and country rats (pack rats aka wood rats) to deal with here. This seems to be banner year for them, I've had a number of friends remark on the excessive population and destruction. The one squeamish commenter, anonymous of course, who thought I was sick for posting a picture of a poisoned dead rat didn't even bother to read enough of the post to realize that I was electrocuting the rats rather than poisoning them. I can't be squeamish about killing destructive, disease vectoring vermin, but I prefer to do it quickly and humanely - I do not use poison.
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Mac, Sometimes you just have laugh at this stuff, and then I go back to turning the air blue, like this morning when I found the first hit on the cucumber plants. Grrrr.
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hearts, little sods indeed! Glad you had a good laugh.
Remember we caught 62 gophers our first summer at Nine Palms? We're down to about a dozen after 9 years. I wish you the same or even better success with your rats. Great post. Excellent on the no poison policy.
ReplyDeleteBracey, Thank you. I do remember the epic gopher battles, a dozen is still a lot though. I learned a lot about gopher control that year.
ReplyDeleteI remember the year of pack rat battles we had at our central Washington homestead.... it was much like this. No drug addicted rats though. LOL! They really are a pain and I think the fact that they destroy something and then waste 3/4ths of it is what really adds insult to injury. At least EAT IT!
ReplyDeleteI get it, I get it. Rats are the worst, and I know we need to do more. Your zapper looks a nifty little treat. The only time I wish we had a new, "modern" house is when I think of all the little entry holes all over this place.
ReplyDeleteI hope you win this battle, but I fear the war is truly a long one.
Oh gosh, I wish you tons of success with your zapper. We have a little dog who does an exquisite job of killing the rodents who attack our gardens. But without him, I'd be sunk! Bravo!! As to the anonymous squeamish poster, she could offer to come with a Haveaheart trap and take them home.....
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